Monday, June 6, 2011

Serial Monogamy / Cereal Monogamy

I’ve been boy crazy my whole life.   Not only have I been boy crazy, but I’m also a serial monogamist.  This is the first time in my life that I can honestly say:  I have no crushes, no gentlemen callers, and not one prospect of a male counterpart anywhere in sight.  It has been a while since I have not needed anything from anyone but myself, and I must say I love it.  This has given me many the hour of self introspection.  Just like eating the same cereal everyday I was in fact picking the same person with every relationship.  I also didn’t pick wholesome, delicious cereals.  I chose snap, crackle, pop, frosted flakes, and Trix.   I have never understood children’s fascination with Trix because it tastes like corn dust, processed with Elmer’s glue to create balls, painted with those fruity smelling markers we all used to love in the second grade and is clearly rabbit food.  In reality, as you know from my very first blog post,  I love good cereals, so why not pick men like I pick my cereal? 

I guess just like we get fixated with the way things taste when we are young, I didn’t realize that just because something tastes good does not mean that it’s good for me.    Now that I am somewhat older and wiser, I know that when something is bright and colorful it may still be filled with artificial flavors like the aforementioned rabbit food cereal.  I know when I’m being manipulated or lied to and have started to read men like I read the nutritional facts of a box.  10% daily value of charm, 30% daily value of BS, and throw in a little creeper in there and it’s part of a complete breakfast.  You know what I don’t like part of my complete breakfast- desperation, neediness, tantrum throwing, and whining.  I wouldn’t eat a cereal that contained things I didn’t enjoy, why spend any of my time with a man who contains qualities I don’t enjoy? If I only eat cereals that do good things for me, then I think I’m going to have to start demanding the same things from the guys in my life.  Just like my usual morning meal- I’m looking for high moral fiber and something I won’t get tired of seeing every morning. 

And I have patience- if I can wait up to thirty minutes to make the better-for-you steel cut oats I can wait for most anything.